Love. Attachment.
It's often difficult to discern the difference between the two.
Although the two can co-exist, it is also possible for one to exist without the other.
It's not something that I ever thought about before; most of us assume that if you 'love' someone, then you are inevitably attached to them, and that if you are attached to someone, then that must mean that you love them; neither belief is always true.
Love is selfless, secure, unselfish, kind, fearless, liberating, giving... it is about the other person, it is not about you...
Attachment is all about you, and often rooted in fear; fear of loneliness, fear of failure, fear of rejection...
It's about clinging onto a person, depending on them to fill a void - you don't want to be alone, you cling to this person at any cost, whether they treat you well or not, whether the relationship is healthy or not....you hold onto this person because you are attached, and not necessarily because you love them.
Attachment is one of the primary reasons why people become serial daters, or become addicted to a destructive monogamous relationship. You find yourself holding onto someone, because although the conditions of the relationship are not ideal, you find the person's presence familiar and comforting.
Recognise the difference. Identify the people in your life to whom you are simply attached, and those who you actually love. Are there any unhealthy attachments that you need to let go of in order to become a whole person? Identify the people in you life who claim to 'love' you, what is the nature of your relationship? Are you being used to fill the void of someone's loneliness or low self-esteem, or perhaps the demands made on you are more about social status and material possessions? This is not love. Love is free, love is fearless, liberating, and whole.
Become a whole person. Learn what it means to love and be loved. Don't become entangled in relationships that are based on fear, neediness, and insecurity.
